<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Watashi No Hikari by detectiveireyu</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26139787">Watashi No Hikari</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/detectiveireyu/pseuds/detectiveireyu'>detectiveireyu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Yagami Light Is Not Kira (Death Note), Angst, Good Yagami Light, Other, Song: Watashi no Aaru | My R, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Yagami Light, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Yagami Light is tired</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:34:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26139787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/detectiveireyu/pseuds/detectiveireyu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>( Inspired by the song My R *Watashi No R* )</p><p>Alternate Universe - Light is not Kira</p><p>Raito didn't saw the death note falling and had never picked it up. He had nothing to do in his life. He was so tired and exhausted. He wanted to end it all. He didn't want to fake pretend as the perfect son and student. He wanted to be free. </p><p>Oneshot (?)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Watashi No Hikari</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em></em>November 28 , 1999 ~ Friday</p><p>Light's POV</p><p>As school day ended , I placed my things and books in my locker. No one cared on what I did. No one questioned why I didn't bring my bag. They think I'll just go home but , I won't. I headed to the school roof and smiled at the sunset. It was beautiful. I can't wait for my family to read my letter. I know they won't forgive me for doing this. But I hope they forget about my existence. I sighed and walked towards the edge of the roof</p><p>I took a look around but then I saw a boy with brown hair , seeming to be around my age. His back was turned to me so I didn't know who the boy was. I ignored him and took off my shoes but then my eyes had widened and those words came out of my mouth</p><p>"Hey... Don't do it please..."</p><p>The boy stopped but he didn't look at me</p><p>Hold on...what did I just say? Why did I say that? I couldn't care less either way. But to be honest I was somewhat pissed. This was an opportunity missed</p><p>I didn't see it but I felt the boy smile sadly and said</p><p>"You've probably heard it all before , but , I fooled my family thinking I had friends but really I was alone"</p><p>I didn't notice but I started to get angry and shouted</p><p>"For god's sake please! Are you serious I just can't believe that for some stupid reason you got here before me. Are you upset 'cause you fooled everyone? Why don't you become genuine and honest. You shouldn't end your life just because of that pathetic reasoning"</p><p>The boy turned around and I gasped as the boy was me. He smiled and dissapeared before me. I weakly smiled and wore my shoes again and grabbed my things. I then threw away the paper and went home , exhaustion fading away</p><p>I was relieved that I had stopped myself from ending it , but little did I know that was just the beginning of my pain.</p><p><em></em>December 28 , 2001</p><p>I cried as I walked through the cold snowy night. I wasn't perfect enough. I failed the hardest exams. Now my parents won't accept me. I'm not the perfect child they expect. I can't do everything perfect. I should just vanish from them</p><p>I walked towards the bridge and stared at the deep river below the bridge. I smiled at the beautiful sight of it. Soon I'll be washed away at the flowing water</p><p>I walked towards the rail of the bridge and almost took my shoes off when I saw a boy as tall as I can be. Despite my sadness I go and scream</p><p>"Hey don't do it please..."</p><p>The tall boy sadly smiled and told me his woes</p><p>"You've probably heard it all before , everyone adores me , no one understands me , I don't belong with anyone here"</p><p>I didn't notice but I started to get angry and shouted</p><p>"For god's sake please , are you serious I just can't believe that for some stupid reason you'll waste your life like that? 'cause even so , you're still loved by everyone at home. There's always dinner waiting at the table you know?"</p><p>The boy turned around with tears and smiled to me as he dissapeared. I smiled as I had saved another life and wiped away my tears and went back home and like that there was someone every month , I listened to their tales , I made them turn away...and yet there was no one who would listen to me. No way I could let out all these pain</p><p><em></em>January 28 , 2003</p><p>I went to the roof with a blank face. I don't want to keep their hopes up. So I'm ending it once and for all. I was about to take off my shoes but for the very first time there I see , someone with the same pain as me. Having saved lives again and again , he wore a brown school coat</p><p>I didn't have to ask why he was here as he whispered those things to me. Barely hearing it over the wind </p><p>"I just wanna stop the scars that grow everytime that I go home. That's why I came up here instead"</p><p>Whoa wait a minute what did I just say? I couldn't care less either way. But in the moment I just screamed something that I could not believe</p><p>"Hey... Don't do...it...please..."</p><p>The boy didn't look at me and took off his shoes and walked closer to the edge. What do I do? I can't stop this boy oh this is new. For once I think I've bitten off more than I can chew. I looked at him and shouted</p><p>"But even so , please just go away so I can't see. Your pitiful expression is just too much for me! Please don't go as it pains my heart for you to disappear"</p><p>The boy turned around and looked at me without a smile , there was only a blank expression. His eyes had looked dead and empty</p><p>"I guess today is just not my day"</p><p>He looked away from me and then he disappeared. </p><p><em></em>February 28 , 2004</p><p>It was a dark cold night and nobody was walking around or outside. I walked towards the bridge rail and looked around. There's no one here today so I guess it's time. It's just me myself and I. There's no one here to interfere. No one to get in my way here</p><p>Taking off my brown school coat , I watched my brown hair blow through the wind. This boy tall as I can be , is gonna jump now and disappear</p><p>. . .</p><p>As I let go of the railing , I felt the wind blowing through my body. I closed my eyes and smiled. I waited for my body to hit the ground but somebody had grabbed my hands. My eyes snapped open and my jaw dropped</p><p>"Hey... Don't do it please"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so the song My R played and then this thought randomly popped on my head. I could not not just write this. If you guys want a continuation feel free to comment ^^</p><p>Okay okay , for the explanation of the year ,  1999 , Light was 12. <br/>2001 , Light was 15.<br/>2003 , Light was 17.<br/>2004 , Light was 18.</p><p>And Yes. The death note exist here and the kira case is happening. But somebody else picked up the death note since Light never saw it fall</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>